The musician opens up about sobriety, her latest relationship, and the excitement of heading on her first global headline tour.
WORDS ISOBEL VAN DYKE PHOTOGRAPHY JOHN JAY COVER DESIGN JACK ROWE
When Doechii was 11-years-old she met with a pastor who prophesied her life. He told her that she would touch millions of people with her gifts, she just didn’t yet know what those gifts were. 15 years and 10 million monthly listeners later, her abilities have become clear – the prophecy fulfilled. “I was anointed that day,” she explains. “I’m very aware that my purpose is to inspire people through music. I think that I’m meant to mirror a truth about people. That’s my purpose.”
It’s bright and early in Los Angeles but the 26-year-old rapper is wide awake. She speaks gracefully but with intent. A true poet who has known herself, and what she wants, from a very young age. When we speak, she’s seven days away from the biggest tour of her career so far. Sure, she’s supported Doja Cat, SZA and Beyoncé, but this is Doechii’s own, headlining lap of the globe. Understandably, she has a full day of rehearsals ahead of her.
“I finally get to perform new music. I’ve been performing the same singles for forever so it feels like a relief to get away from that old music and do something new,” she says excitedly. The new music in question comes from her debut mixtape, Alligator Bites Never Heal, which was released in August to critical acclaim, with some even hailing it as the best rap album of the year.
The 19-track project is gritty, raw, playful, and astonishingly, only took her a month to make (bar a couple of “very old songs that [she] forgot about”). The meaning of the title, she explains, changes for her everyday. “I think that’s what my favourite type of art does – it evolves and changes with time. Today it feels like as long as you’re being vulnerable and you’re showing up transparently and honestly as a human, you open yourself up to be wounded in some type of way.”
Of course, the album title also references the 1.3 million alligators that reside in the state of Florida – or, as Doechii calls it, The Swamp. Born Jaylah Ji’mya Hickmon and raised in Tampa, as a child she was bullied. As a result, she invented a new character: Doechii. It wasn’t until high school that she began to thrive. She set her sights on Howard W. Blake School of the Arts, where she auditioned, was accepted, and unlocked the doors to ballet, tap, singing, cheerleading and gymnastics.
It’s clear to see how gymnastics has influenced her as a performer. “The way that gymnasts train is really, really tough. It’s brutal and hard and difficult. But at some point in my gymnastic career I learnt how to embrace and really love pain. To view pain as me getting stronger and better. That caused a deep discipline that has never left me,” she says. Surely, it also made her more competitive? “100 percent. I’m super competitive. I wanna be the best.”
Between training and high school, she began to experiment with freestyle rapping. She released her debut song on SoundCloud in 2016, followed by her 9-track project Coven Music Session, Vol. 1 and her debut EP in 2020. She went viral on TikTok with her single “Yucky Blucky Fruitcake”, and then again with “Persuasive” in 2022 after becoming the first female rapper to sign with Top Dawg Entertainment.
For the past five years, like an alligator, Doechii has been laying low, disguised among the everglades. Waiting patiently for her moment to attack and sink her teeth in. She has built her gator nest on a foundation of hit singles (including this summer’s “Alter Ego”), honesty in her lyricism, and sobriety, too. She has a clear view of success and knows what she needs to get there. Alcohol, drugs and nicotine were simply getting in the way.
“I was relying on a source outside of myself and when you rely on a source outside of yourself to create something, you’re not creating from an authentic place, because you’re not yourself. That’s why my project sounds like it does. Because it’s coming from me, it’s not coming from liquor, it’s not coming from a party environment, it’s coming from me sitting down, being barefoot in my studio, balling my eyes out. Finally able to unpack something that I had been running from for a long time.”
“My project is not coming from a party environment, it’s coming from me sitting down, being barefoot in my studio, balling my eyes out”
That said, the music industry doesn’t exactly make it easy to go sober. “As a musician you go to a lot of festivals, there’s a lot of club appearances, there’s a lot of shows, and where there’s music there’s usually alcohol and drugs, recreational drugs and hard drugs that people use in the crowd, so it’s always around.” Disciplined as ever, Doechii takes a challenge in her stride. “At first it was a little bit difficult. But when you get a grip on your environment and you remove those things it’s not difficult for me at all. In fact, it’s actually quite simple and it feels good.”
Not only is she recently sober, Doechii is also recently taken. “I think I’ve always been gay,” she laughs. “I always knew I was gay. I’m currently bisexual. I am with a woman now and I have always known that I loved women. I’ve been very, very aware from an early age.” I can hear the pride in her voice, though growing up in Florida, she hasn’t always been able to embrace her sexuality in the way she can now.
“I’m a Black woman from the south, so it’s different. There’s a lot of racism and homophobia so it’s hard, it’s very, very hard. Even though I was aware, I didn’t feel as comfortable until I started surrounding myself with more gay friends. I also grew up in the church, which is not to say that every religion denounces being gay, but it wasn’t accepted in the religion that I was in, in my environment. It wasn’t until I went to a performing arts school and there were a lot of gay people at my school. Once I had gay friends it was like ‘OK, I can be myself, I’m good, I can feel safe, this is normal, I’m fine, everything is ok.’ I have those same friends today and will have them for life.”
Did she feel the need to hide her sexuality? “I definitely didn’t feel like I could have pride. I wouldn’t talk about it, but if somebody asked me I wasn’t going to lie. So it wasn’t a secret, but I definitely couldn’t walk around as proud as I wanted to and that was upsetting.”
In 2021, Doechii made the move from Florida to California. And though Tampa is deeply rooted in her art and in who she is, she notes the difference between the two states. “I feel hopeful about Tampa, but the rest of Florida still has a lot of catching up to do and it would be ridiculous if I did not acknowledge the blatant homophobia and racism that is spread in the south. There definitely is a difference living here in Los Angeles. It is a lot more liberal and [being gay] has been accepted for a long time, whereas Florida is just now catching up to accepting and treating gay people equally, which is sad. But things are changing.”
In 2024, as Doechii rises, so does a fresh wave of queer women musicians. Not only are we seeing greater representation, but women leading the conversation and at the forefront of pop. From Billie Eilish to Chappell Roan, Renée Rapp, Victoria Monét, Kehlani and MUNA, we’re witnessing a celebratory moment in music history. Doechii is right there with them. “It feels like, finally. It’s interesting that, if you look back in history, there were popular female MCs back in the day that were gay, they just weren’t allowed to be as open about it as we are now. It has always been a thing, but it feels amazing that now it’s not as hard for us.”
“Florida is just now catching up to accepting and treating gay people equally”
As for her own queer icons: “Queen Latifah was huge. Madonna, of course. And for my generation, Lady Gaga.” Much like Gaga, Doechii’s fanbase is largely made up of the LGBTQIA+ community, and for good reason. “Because gay people love talent!” She exclaims. “True, raw, talent. And, I’m gonna be honest, we just have great taste! I think that’s why a lot of my fans are gay, because we have great taste and we get it.”
Having had her first taste of drag earlier this year when she appeared on the cover of Paper Magazine, Doechii is hungry for more. “That was my first time doing drag and man, I fucking love it. That was so, so fun and so cool and incredible to explore and try, so I’ll probably do it again, maybe for a music video. We’ll see.” Whilst she’s new to drag, she isn’t new to adopting characters. Not only are Doechii and drag king Ricardo two of her personas, she also made her acting debut in Savanah Leaf’s Earth Mama last year.
Are film and TV avenues that she’d like to explore further? “Yes, yes, yes. I think I’d do comedy or horror, or both.” As for her dream role, of course, Doechii could only ever play another predator: “I’d like to be the star of an A24 film where I am the villain.” Why? “Because I don’t wanna be the one getting killed! I’m gonna do the killing.” Spoken like a true alligator.
Alligator Bites Never Heal is out now.
The post Doechii: “I have always known that I loved women. I’ve been very, very aware from an early age” appeared first on GAY TIMES.
0 Comments